The seven signs of aging

There are more of these than the ones the Oil of Olay crowd tell you about...

1. Using wrinkly neck and eye creams
2. Getting a bit shouty about the small things
3. Wearing sensible shoes
4. Secretly reading the Daily Mail
5. Listening to Radio 4
6. Incontinence
7. Deepening conservatism

I forgot making noises as you sit down, thinking the younsters in the pub look like they're about 14, feeling the need to wear sensible shoes...

Headline of the day

'Giant turd wreaks museum havoc'
Inflatable dog mess art work blown from moorings and brings down power line in Switzerland

Perhaps shouldn't but I do..

Men I have a thing for, but I probably shouldn't for, one reason or another:

1) Patrick Stewart

Ahhh. Captain Jean-Luc Picard at your service. He's one of those people who looked older even when he was young, but that does mean he doesn't age. I missed him when he was doing the Shylock monologue at the West Yorkshire Playhouse - and have been regretting it ever since. One day I will see him in the flesh.


2) Richard Gere

Comes across as such an arse... and yet I would. But I'd have to gag him first. In fact there are quite a few men in that category really.....





3) Richard Chamberlain

From 1960-1980 probably - most definitely not now. I'm not a geriophile you know.





4) Shia LeBeouf

On the other end of irrespectability, this one is far too young for me to fancy.

Favourite place names

1. Kingston Bagpuize, Oxfordshire
2. Old Sodbury, Gloucestershire
3. Bagpath, Gloucestershire
4. Fisherton De La Mere, Wiltshire
5. Pity Me, County Durham
6. Lord Hereford's Knob, Brecon Beacons (ok not a village, but still funny)

Any more for any more?

Bored? Play spot the ghostie!

Play ghost-hunter by spotting the lady in grey on the Willard Library Ghost Cams:

http://www.willardghost.com

Enjoy!

Make your pussy pretty

The advert for these came up on the left hand bar of my facebook profile. Doesn't it make you want to give your pussy a makeover?

Wrong Songs

I've taken to making up little songs for myself lately. They're rubbish but they amuse me. This one has two verses so far. More need to be added...

(To be sung to the tune of Down by the Riverside)

I'm gonna take off my socks and shoes,
Down by the riverside, down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside,
I'm gonna take off my socks and shoes,
Down by the riverside, down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside.

I'm gonna dance in my pants and vest,
Down by the riverside, down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside,
I'm gonna dance in my pants and vest,
Down by the riverside, down by the riverside,
Down by the riverside.

Suggestions for new material will be gratefully received. Or mocked if they're rubbish.

By the way, I'm Sparticles.