The seven signs of aging

There are more of these than the ones the Oil of Olay crowd tell you about...

1. Using wrinkly neck and eye creams
2. Getting a bit shouty about the small things
3. Wearing sensible shoes
4. Secretly reading the Daily Mail
5. Listening to Radio 4
6. Incontinence
7. Deepening conservatism

I forgot making noises as you sit down, thinking the younsters in the pub look like they're about 14, feeling the need to wear sensible shoes...